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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?